


Heaven, Then Earth

by Lady_Darkness



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon character death averted, Dreams, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-02-26
Packaged: 2021-03-17 05:22:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29712288
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Darkness/pseuds/Lady_Darkness
Summary: Jack saved Castiel from the Empty and asked him to help rebuild heaven. Cas gets the chance to look in on the Winchesters and sees what’s happening to Dean. He takes action, his sacrifice shouldn’t be in vain.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Heaven, Then Earth

**Author's Note:**

> I always figured there had to be a reason for Castiel not to come back as soon as Jack got him out of the Empty. There's no way he would leave the Winchesters like that either. 
> 
> In case anyone wonders, this is NOT 15x20 friendly. I dislike the finale more than any other SPN episode in existence.

When Jack saved Castiel from the Empty, he told him in no uncertain terms that angels were no longer to leave heaven, unless they chose to fall. He also asked Cas to stay and help him redesign heaven so Dean would approve of it.

For a moment Castiel contemplated ripping out his newly replenished grace and going to find the Winchesters, but when Jack showed him the state heaven was in he knew he couldn’t leave. Not yet. So they went to work.

The first thing they did was tear down all of the walls, gathering every soul in one place. Seeing souls gravitate towards one another, finding each other again after a long time, made Jack understand that people will always seek connection, with more than just their soulmates. Castiel looked over this process with mixed feelings, surprised that he could all process them even with his grace intact again.

“I changed you, Castiel. I changed all angels. You are now capable of experiencing all emotions and sensations, and to let them guide your decisions. Your capability to feel love, to care, changed heaven for good. We made it a better place.” Jack told him, not long after they finished the repairs.

“And yet you forbid me to go back to the man who taught me to love, who changed me into who I am now,” he said, matter-of-factly. He allowed the feeling of anger and loss to pass through him, but refused to focus on it for longer than necessary.

“You know you can go back, but know that it’s definitive this time. There is no changing your mind. If you return, it’s as a human being with a soul. You’ll start your life as a baby and you will live it out like any other human until you come full circle. And Castiel, you will not remember anything from your time as an angel. Not your past as a warrior of heaven, nor your time as a human. You will, in essence, become a brand new human being. I can guide your soul so you’ll be born in the best possible circumstances, but that is all I can and will do. Everything else is up to you and the people around you.”

Castiel looked his son in the eyes, searching for a trace of the soft boy he had been while they lived together in the bunker. All he found was a strong and decisive man, a God, kind yet unrelenting.

“When you were in the Empty, while I was looking for a way to get you out, I discovered many damaging events that would have been prevented if angels and demons had not interfered. At the time, it seemed prudent to close off the exits in both heaven and hell. Most monsters have been dealt with, they have their own place in Purgatory now. Eve watches over them and takes care of them. They no longer have a need to roam the earth. The few that are left will be finished off by hunters or they can live their lives in peace if they so choose.”

“Is this what you call a hands-off approach, Jack? You’ve meddled with just about everything you could get your hands on.” Castiel’s voice raised slightly. His chest constricted when he realized the magnitude of Jack’s actions. He couldn’t believe his son seemed to be taking a page out of Chuck’s book. He might not be pushing his stories onto humans, but he couldn’t say if Jack would be content with rebuilding heaven. Maybe he too would give in to the temptation to inflict his will on the universe. He decided then and there to keep an eye on him, for he could obviously not be trusted. 

The young God still looked self confident and sure of his decisions, even faced with his father’s ire. He put a hand on Castiel’s shoulder and drew him closer.

“Yes. Everything down there will happen as it happens, there will be no interference. When we finish our task here, when we’re done rebuilding heaven, the place where souls come to rest, I’ll remain among them, as will all the angels,” Jack smiled brightly as he took in Castiel’s incredulous expression, “When everything is ready, we’ll guide the human souls to their peace. You see, most of them already found it here. They’ve found their loved ones, some are even making more friends. This is the paradise I once promised you, when I was in my mother’s womb. Do you remember that?”

Castiel nodded absentmindedly. He knew a lost cause when he saw one. Giving up his memories, his enormous knowledge, to start life anew as a human wasn’t worth it. He didn’t want to fall, he was quite happy being an angel. His love for Dean had helped him realize there was more to his existence than obedience, the man had taught him how to be independent, and in the end, he would be a better angel because of that knowledge. All of this, and the crushing realization that he had left him sitting on that floor, unable to do anything, made that he was becoming desperate to talk to him, but Jack’s changes seemed to make that impossible. There would be no way to go back to Dean, to clean up his unfinished business, to make sure he was okay.

“Can I look in on them? See how they’re doing?”

Jack nodded and pulled out a tray that looked suspiciously like a pensieve out of the Harry Potter movies. Castiel couldn’t suppress a grin when he realized Jack had probably shaped it exactly like that because of the meaning it carried. Their movie nights had left an impression on the kid. His expression turned serious again when he took the tray and looked into it.

“You can only see events happening in real time. The future is no longer set, no one knows what will happen later on. Everything is up to them now.” Jack warned him before he took a deep breath and looked.

*****

Dean lay still on the floor of the library. He looked dead to the world, but the soft snores coming from his mouth said otherwise. Surrounded by empty bottles and disorganized books, he looked every bit as unhappy and destroyed as he’d been after Sam had jumped into the cage with Lucifer.

With a groan he sat up and grabbed his head, probably to stop it from pounding. He slid his fingers through his hair, gently massaging his scalp. Before he got the chance to really get up, a small-ish beige dog came running for him, burying itself in his chest. He held the creature tight for a second, hiding his face in its fur. Dean just stayed on the floor, barely moving, until Sam walked in the library with a worried and annoyed look on his face.

Sam didn’t waste any time, moving the dog out of the way and hauling Dean up from his spot. Irritation radiated off him as he shook his brother a little rougher than strictly necessary. 

“You know you can’t keep this up, right? Either get your ass to Mia, or talk to me.”

“Fuck you, Sammy. Fuck you.” Dean got up and took a swing at his brother, but that just landed him on his ass again. With a barely suppressed groan he leaned on his elbows and watched Sam walk away, muttering under his breath. 

He then sat up with some difficulty and started praying again. 

*****  
Castiel was disturbed that he was unable to hear Dean’s prayers. He trembled as he gave Jack the tray. 

“How is it that I can’t hear Dean praying? In Purgatory I could hear him. Even when I was in the Empty, some of his prayers got through as soon as I was awake. Why, Jack?”

Jack’s face fell. His eyes filled with unshed tears and he licked his lips nervously. 

“Dean’s praying to me, asking to bring you back. He does this dozens of times a day. He doesn’t know you’re out of the Empty.”

Castiel walked out of the room without looking back at his son, fearing that if he did, he’d do something monumentally stupid, like trying to kill him. He needed to figure out what had happened to Jack between the time he’d left him behind to go with Dean and when he got back from the Empty. Maybe Chuck destroyed him before he could even take over heaven? It also occurred to him that Jack was still a kid, and kids were often misguided in their desire to make things right. 

For a moment he was torn between his son and the human he’d given everything for, but all of his instincts told him to go back down and save Dean, from his own destructive tendencies most of all. But he didn’t understand why the man was so broken. Had everything that happened in his life caught up with him? Had his mind finally cracked under the pressure of the last thirty-seven years? No matter how much he’d learned in the time he’d spent with the Winchesters, he couldn’t crack this riddle. Human emotions, while he was perfectly capable of feeling them, still threw him for a loop sometimes. But then it hit him.

Dreams. He could try and communicate with Dean in his dreams, like he had done a few times before. He doubted Jack knew of this ability, as it hadn’t been a common practice. It required a profound bond between the angel and the human they intended to visit. This form of communication was usually reserved for those who were called upon to be guardian angels, and the archangels that protected the prophets. There wasn’t much information on it in heaven’s extensive libraries, and Castiel guessed Jack hadn’t come across it, or his knowledge on the topic was limited at best.

Later that day he went back to Jack and asked for permission to keep an eye on Dean. He not as much asked for permission but told him he was going to keep an eye on both the Winchesters and their immediate circle. Jack surrendered the tray without even a trace of protest. 

That night, when he was reasonably certain Dean was asleep, Castiel took the plunge. Though he hadn’t done this in years, finding the connection with Dean’s subconscious came easily. He laid back and allowed his mind to look for Dean’s.

A beach, a desolate beach filled with dead bodies and debris, was the first thing Castiel saw when he entered Dean’s dream. More and more bloody and mangled bodies washed ashore, the blood red sea never seemed to run out, until there was not a trace of sand to be found. He knew he could take control of the imagery, if only to turn the dream into something nicer for Dean, but he also realized this wasn’t the purpose of his visit. He had to talk to him, make sure he didn’t self-destruct as he was prone to do when he took everything too much to heart. The first thing he had to do was to look for Dean himself, and find how he manifested in his own dreams. 

After what felt like hours, he found the familiar light of Dean’s soul emanating from a small boy with the brightest green eyes. The boy stood in a corner of a battlefield that was filled with dead monsters as well as humans. He kept his eyes averted from the light Castiel’s true form spread out over the whole plane. The angel treaded carefully as he made his way to the young kid, knowing that he could disappear as soon as he realized what was going on. Dean could also banish him from his dreams. He was fairly certain that wouldn’t happen, but he had no idea if Dean would be happy to see him now.

“Cas? Is that you?” Dean’s voice coming from this small, frightened kid was jarring, but Castiel nodded. 

With a speed he never knew a human could possess, not even in their dreams, the kid threw himself into Castiel’s arms. The angel held on just as tight, protecting the soul in his arms the same way he’d done when he’d brought Dean back from hell. He swore he could see a golden glow seep into the cracks as he continued holding on for dear life. When he finally let go, Dean had taken on the shape Castiel knew so well. It wasn’t unusual for humans to switch between bodies in their dreams, but this was the first time Castiel saw it happen to Dean. 

When he looked into those sad green eyes he knew that this was it. He’d keep watch over Dean as he’d done ever since pulling his soul from the pit, until the end of time if possible. One day, they’d be reunited in heaven, but unless Dean stopped his behavior, that day would come way too soon. 

“What happened, Cas? How can you be here?”

“It’s an ancient form of communication between guardian angels and their charges. With the changes Jack made to heaven, there’s no other way I can come and see you.”

Dean tilted his head, as if to digest the information Castiel had provided him with, and then he placed his hand on the angel’s shoulder.

“Please stay with me here. If it’s the only way I can have you, it’s okay.”

Castiel was surprised to hear these words, this open acceptance of a need Dean would never allow himself when awake. He took in Dean’s resigned posture as they walked away from the battlefield into a dark forest. The foliage was bright green and retreated as the two friends walked on. Stars lit up the sky and the forest and guided them on the right path. Castiel had always known Dean’s mind to be a welcoming place for him, no matter how strained their relationship had become at times. A weight fell off him as he followed Dean onto the narrow paths filled with freshly fallen leaves. 

From then on, Castiel went to check in on Dean every night. Sometimes they talked about the apocalypse, about Chuck, but sometimes Dean told him about movies he’d watched, about a job he was thinking of getting. Other times they just walked or sat in silence. The scenery often changed from desolate and bloody to green and full of sounds as soon as Dean was aware of his presence. 

They never discussed Castiel’s feelings, nor the way he’d finally told Dean about them. He noticed Dean acted differently in the dreams, that he didn’t hold back when he wanted to touch Castiel. He took his hands whenever they sat close, he hugged him every time Castiel showed himself. He never spoke up, but his actions filled the angel with joy. Dean’s physical shape changed with each of their encounters. The less anxious he became, the younger the man appeared. After a while, the only version of him Castiel still saw was the young, freckled man he had rescued from hell, but in his eyes lay the wisdom of the experienced hunter he’d left behind when the Empty took him. One who deserved rest and retirement, and had obviously found exactly that in his own dreams. 

Every time Castiel truly looked at Dean’s soul, he could see how it still shone brighter than a thousand stars, all of the cracks now firmly mended with gold. 

This went on for nearly a month. When he watched Sam and Dean, he could see both of them move on. They went back to hunting the monsters that were still running amok, they established a routine. Castiel was glad to see them go back to their job. He knew their time as hunters was running out. With the monster population on earth dwindling, it wouldn’t take a year before there were none left. This knowledge was comforting, and it wouldn’t be long before both brothers would be truly free to live the lives they deserved. 

Jack once hinted he knew what Castiel was doing, and he didn’t mind as long as he didn’t try and interfere. As long as everything went well, it wasn’t hard to keep out of it. Castiel kept his visits up, but he no longer showed himself to Dean. Whenever Dean was in distress, he sent out signals that suggested his presence, but he knew he had to let go some time. The reason he’d sacrificed himself was to give Dean a chance to lead the life he deserved. Now that his heart seemed to have healed somehow, Castiel hoped the hunter would be able to move on, to let go. 

Until that one day, when everything turned sour.

There was nothing special about it, just a regular Thursday on earth. When Castiel checked up on Sam and Dean, there was nothing amiss. They were on a run of the mill vampire hunt. In the past few months, vamps had been the only monsters left to actively fight their extinction, they’d tried and tried again to repopulate their nests. They had turned large numbers of people, but only few of them survived. No matter how hard they tried, there were always some hunters in the neighborhood itching for a good fight. Most nests got exterminated quite quickly. The main issue was that those few that were left, mostly the newly turned, were extremely aggressive. So when the Winchesters came across a newly formed nest, Castiel knew to keep an eye out. 

He was busy rebuilding the Axis Mundi when he felt it, a sharp pain close to where his heart would be if he were still stuck in his vessel. This couldn’t be good. He vanished from his spot and appeared in Jack’s space, or office as he sometimes called it, which was thankfully empty. He walked up to the cupboard and took out the tray he’d used to check up on the Winchesters previously. 

*****

The creatures were advancing on Dean. Sam was trying to help the two kids they’d kidnapped while Dean was fighting off the vamps. They both looked exhausted, but whether it was the fight that had worn them down or something else, Castiel couldn’t say. He hadn’t been looking for more than a few seconds when he saw Dean getting slammed into the wall. The man didn’t move, he didn’t try to get away. He stayed where he was, waiting for Sam to finish the last of the nest.

*****

Castiel felt the floor drop from under him. What was going on? What had just happened? This wasn’t Dean, he’d only known Dean to give up once before, when they were up against Lucifer, but never again. He tried to take a closer look, but before he could see anything else, the tray dissolved in front of him, leaving no trace of its existence.  
When he turned around he saw Jack. The young man’s hair was disheveled, his eyes wide with fear. There was no trace of his earlier confidence left. 

“Jack, he…” Castiel started, but his son interrupted him.

“I know… I hear his prayer, I can hear Sam’s. This is it…” Jack’s voice sounded sad, but resigned, and it only fueled Castiel’s anger. 

“You’re going to let this happen? You’re not going to interfere? After all he went through, you’re going to let him die, like this? It’s been a month since Chuck, he barely had the chance to live his life.”

“You know I can’t interfere, He wouldn’t want me to. He… he wants to go, he’s ready.”

Castiel felt a surge of anger rush through him. He forced himself to remain calm on the surface. He’d seen this kind of anger in Dean, and he realized it never amounted to anything but self-loathing and regret. 

“Please, let me go, Jack. Let me go to him, heal him. Let me send an ambulance at least. Sam doesn’t seem capable of doing anything. He’s paralyzed.”

“He is. He knows he can’t do anything. All he does is pray. They are saying goodbye right now, they know what’s going to happen.”

In a flash of blinding light Castiel disappeared. He didn’t know how he got away, but next thing he knew he was walking up to the barn where Sam and Dean were saying their last goodbyes. With one wave of his hand, he broke the door and saw the scene inside. Dean still stood against the wall, his forehead leaning against Sam’s. His body hadn’t given in yet. He had some strength left. 

“I need you to tell me that it’s okay.” Dean breathed, keeping his eyes on Sam.

Castiel pushed Sam roughly aside and grabbed Dean’s face. He felt his grace rush through his body as he held his hand over the dying man’s heart. With practiced ease, he healed the internal damage as best as he could before he pulled Dean off the piece of rebar. 

“Sam, give me a hand here.” 

Sam walked up to Castiel like he was something out of a dream. His eyes squinted at the assault of the light, but he managed to grab Dean’s other side and together they lay him down on the floor, most of his weight supported by Sam. Castiel healed him as fast as he could, feeling the remainder of his grace burn out quicker than Dean’s wounds were closing. He sent a prayer to Jack, hoping he would hear him, and forgive him for his actions. 

With the last of his grace, he finished healing Dean, who now lay unconscious on the floor of the barn. His breathing was steady and his face was no longer gray and drawn. Castiel supposed Dean would wake up any minute now. He sat opposite Sam, but kept his hand on Dean’s shoulder. 

Sam still looked bewildered by everything that had happened in the last ten minutes. From being resigned to continue without his brother to having his best friend returned, he really couldn’t fathom what had happened. 

Castiel gave him the short version of events, without losing himself into the details of rebuilding heaven. 

“So you say Jack got you out of the Empty but he said you couldn’t come back?”

“No angel is allowed to come down to earth anymore. If they want to fall, they have to rip out their grace and start life as a baby. A new soul, a new human.”

“Like Anna? But they can’t get their grace back?”

Castiel nodded, letting his eyes flick down to Dean’s peaceful face. He was beautiful, his face was just as beautiful as his soul. With a pang of regret, Castiel realized he would never again behold the utter perfection that was Dean Winchester’s soul, the brightest of lights, fixed with pure gold and shaped into the man he’d given everything for. He didn’t get the chance to reflect on what this meant for him. Until Dean woke up, he’d help Sam to understand what was going on. 

“Why are you back? How are you even here?” Sam asked, incredulity written all over his face.

“I have no idea. One moment I was in Jack’s ‘office’, and the next I was down here, burning through my grace at an alarming rate. I haven’t ripped it out, but,” Castiel said, pointing at his body, “I am human now, there’s nothing left inside of me.” 

“You know he never told me what happened? He only ever said you saved him and that you took Billie with you. And now you did it again.”

“Dean… he deserves to be saved. He was supposed to live his life, you both were… are. There aren’t many monsters left, soon you won’t have to hunt anymore.” 

Sam’s eyes grew almost comically wide when he digested Castiel’s words. 

“Dean… he wants out. He’s been applying for jobs for the past month,” Sam chuckled, “he thinks I don’t know, but he’s not as good in hiding his search history as he thinks. It will be good for him. Now that you’re back, he might even be able to enjoy it.”

Castiel was puzzled. Why wouldn’t Dean enjoy his life without him around? He’d been doing okay when they talked in his dreams. Taking a good look at Sam, he noticed much of the tension he’d seen in his face had vanished. While at first he attributed this to getting rid of the vamps, there was something else to it. Something frighteningly akin to hope started to rear its head deep down insid of him, but he didn’t want to read too much into it.

“Dean was-,” Sam started, looking Castiel straight in the eyes, “He was lost after we dealt with Chuck. At first he seemed okay, he had Miracle, we went on hunts. It was weird that he didn’t try to bring you back, so I looked and couldn’t find anything. There was nothing on the Empty, nothing we could do. When I told him, Dean, he… he just stopped, you know?” He looked apologetic, his eyes cast to the floor, where his and Castiel’s feet almost touched. There was something in his demeanor that made Castiel uneasy, until it hit him. 

His eyes went wide in understanding. Had Dean really missed him that much? That might explain why it had been so easy to crash his dreams, to use the man’s own expression. He tried to push down the wave of hope that came over him. When he told Dean that the happiness was in the being, not in the having, he’d meant every word of it. Yet he found that, confronted with a new life as a human, reciprocated love might be preferable. Maybe there was a chance that Dean felt the same for him. He’d certainly hinted at it in his dreams, but they only just spent time together, neither had ever taken the first step. While the realm of dreams was a safe place, it was also a plane where dreams and longing could be taken for something it wasn’t in the real world. 

“I want us to stop hunting. I want to find Eileen again, and start that life we talked about.” Sam’s Adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed audibly. 

It wasn’t hard to see the man was in pain, and this might have been the last drop. Coming close to losing his brother for real, left on his own after everything that had happened? It would be enough to break a stronger man than Sam Winchester. 

“Did Jack ever mention her? When you were in heaven with him, did he say what happened to her? And to the others from the other world?”

“I’m sorry, Sam. He never said anything. He only told me everything was back where it should be.”

Sam paled at first, but soon the skin around his temple turned pink. His eyes, filled with tears and regret at first, then grew hard and dangerous. This was the fearsome hunter Castiel knew Sam could be. His breathing quickened, and he grasped his knee for leverage.

“Where it should be?” he started, suspicion clear in his voice, “Eileen was resurrected from hell… you think she’s there?” His tone was flat, yet dark and threatening. 

“I don’t know, Sam. Jack sealed off heaven and hell. I had no way of knowing who went where… We can’t go look for her in hell either. I’m sorry.”

Sam hung his head in resignation. Castiel awkwardly patted his shoulder in a gesture of comfort, but his words were lost when Dean let out a keening sound.

“Damn it… I’m never drinking again… where the hell am I?” Dean’s speech was slurred, but he seemed healed and healthy. With obvious difficulties he sat up and took in his surroundings. He blinked as he saw the dead vamps lying on the floor, and he smiled apologetically at Sam when he saw him. 

Castiel felt lighter when he heard Dean’s grumbling voice. While he knew his grace had healed most of the damage done, he’d been afraid there would have been lingering effects. The man seemed to be in good health, as long as he didn’t try to stand up too fast. Sam caught him just in time before he could fall onto the floor again. They both guided Dean back so he could sit while the fog lifted from his head. 

That’s when Castiel knew it had hit Dean that he and Sam were not alone. He went still when those green eyes came to rest on him. 

“Cas?” Dean asked, his voice clouded with emotion. He immediately grasped Castiel’s hands like he’d done dozens of times in their shared dreams by now. 

Castiel didn’t hesitate to squeeze Dean’s fingers between his, completely ignoring Sam’s gasp and his smug grin. His face lit up as he smiled at Dean, finding his own emotions mirrored on that beautiful face of his. Their conversations in Dean’s dreams came back to him full force. He had to stop himself from burying his face in the man’s neck as long as he wasn’t sure his feelings were fully reciprocated. 

He stared in fear and expectation as Dean’s hand moved to his coat and pulled him closer. The hug he found himself crushed in was nothing like the previous hugs they’d shared. Dean held him close and buried his face in his neck like nothing else mattered anymore. Castiel relaxed in the embrace, wrapping his arms around Dean and holding on tight.

“Please stay.” Dean breathed, ghosting his lips over Castiel’s earlobe. He pressed a chaste kiss to the side of his neck. 

Castiel turned his head to catch Dean’s green gaze. His eyes were soft as he closed the gap between them. He closed his eyes and gave in to the feeling of Dean’s lips softly touching his. He kissed back with everything he had, this was what he’d dreamed of since his first time as a human. His feelings had been just as strong when he was still an angel, but his physical reaction to their proximity had never been as overwhelming as it was now. He held on tight as Dean’s tongue caressed his, both possessive and uncertain. He let out a soft, contented sigh when Dean moved his hand and took a hold of the hair in his neck. A warm, tingling feeling spread throughout his body at the touch and all he could do was hold on as their kiss grew just a bit more heated. 

They both jumped when Sam scraped his throat. He didn’t look shocked by the events in the least. If anything, Castiel could swear he’d given them some privacy. 

“Guys? We really should get going before the cops show up. Those kids,” he pointed at the two young boys cowering in a corner, “need to go home too.” 

Hours later the three of them made it back to the bunker. The ride had been quiet. Castiel had updated them on the state of things in heaven, including Jack’s new rules, the closing of heaven and hell. Sam updated Castiel on their family, he told him about Claire and Kaia venturing out on their own more and more. Castiel couldn’t suppress a smile when Sam told him Claire would definitely want to see him again, but then things got quiet. He sat in the front next to Dean, their hands clasped tightly together. There was still a lot to be said, but they could do that later. His, now very human, body was screaming for rest. 

Any thought of crashing in Dean’s bed, or in his own old room, dissipated when he saw Jack sitting in the living room. Sam and Dean wanted to go and welcome him home, but Castiel held them back with a wave of his hand, his other hand slipping effortless into Dean’s. To his surprise, both Sam and Dean followed his lead without any questions. This time, he was the one who didn’t trust his, or rather, their son.

“Hello,” Jack said, looking suspiciously at the three men coming at him. 

“Jack,” Dean replied, grabbing Castiel’s hand a little firmer, as if looking for comfort or some sort of guidance. 

Jack kept his eyes trained on Castiel all the time, barely sparing a glance for the Winchesters. Castiel could feel the confusion and anger coming off the kid clearly, even in his human form. 

“Why did you do it, Castiel? You know the rules, and why I changed them. Just… tell me why.”

Castiel let go of Dean’s hand and threw his arms up in an unusually theatrical gesture. Forcing himself to remain calm, he took a few deep breaths and got a little closer.

“You know why I did it, Jack. You know I had no choice. You gave us free will, it comes with consequences. There was nothing short of imprisoning me that you could have done to stop me.”

“You always have a choice, that’s what the three of you taught me when I lived here. So how can you say you didn’t have a choice?”

Looking at Dean’s narrowed eyes, Castiel smiled broadly, not an ounce of regret in his voice. “You can punish me, that would be your choice. I disobeyed the rules, you can choose to punish me or to let it go. I acted out of love. My love for humanity, but for Dean in particular, changed me. I could not stand by and let him die in that way. Not before he got the chance to live,” he glanced at Dean. Finding nothing but encouragement in his eyes, he continued, “We’ve tried to teach you compassion as well. I’m not going to plead with you to get my angel powers back, but I will ask you to leave us be,” he hung his head and took another deep breath, “as things stand, I am human, with a human life in front of me. All I ask is that I’m allowed to live it. Where my soul goes after I die, that will be up to you.”

Castiel took a step back and felt Dean’s hand between his shoulders, offering silent support. He saw Sam look at him with a soft and encouraging smile. For the first time in ages, he felt that those feelings he had for them were returned. He could feel their love and friendship reach him without needing words. Dean slipped from behind his back, covering him with his body, and Sam too took a few steps so he was in between Castiel and Jack. His heart grew three sizes bigger now he saw and felt what it truly meant to be under the Winchesters’ protection. His human body was weak, powerless, but his family had his back. 

“Guys,” Jack started, eyes darting between the three of them, “I’m not here to punish anyone, or to change anything. You’re right, Castiel, Dean deserves to live. You all deserve to live a life free of monsters and hunting.” 

“Who’s gonna take care of the monsters then?”

“I already did, Dean. As of now, they’re all but gone. There are a few vampires, werewolves and rugarus left, but they’re peaceful. They will die when it’s their time and their souls will go where they belong.” 

Castiel looked at Jack’s open expression, wholly different from the one he had worn only five minutes earlier. His mouth pursed, his hand covering his eyes. He looked sad, resigned, devoid of anger. It took him a few seconds to regain composure. 

“How do I do this? How can I make it so that you won’t go against the rules again? What can I change?”

Castiel gently pushed Sam and Dean aside so he could face Jack. He took pity on the kid, because that was what he’d always been, a kid, and pulled him in a close hug. Paternal affection flooded through him as he patted Jack’s back. When he pulled back, he saw Jack’s eyes were filled with tears. 

Before he could say anything, he heard Sam take a deep breath and address Jack.

“You don’t have to change anything. There are rules and there’s free will. You just can’t… orchestrate people’s lives. If they want to do something that’s against the rules, well… it’s their decision and they can and should be punished for it. Now…”

“Hey, hey, Sammy… let’s not get carried away here,” Dean interrupted him, “If you’re talking about Cas, just give the man a break. He doesn’t need to be punished. Just,” and he took a deep breath before continuing, “let nature run its course. Take me with you, like it was supposed to be.”

Castiel could barely suppress the urge to punch the older Winchester. His eyes narrowed and he stared Dean down, trying not to blink.

“NO!”, Jack screamed, causing several light bulbs to burn out and the tv to start playing. Whenever he was upset, he tended to destroy things, but that didn’t matter right now.

For a moment Castiel forgot that he no longer was an angel. He jumped up and put his arms around Jack to try and calm him down, but it didn’t work. The last thing he knew felt was a burning sensation in his hands and then being blinded by light and then pure darkness.

“CAS!? Cas, wake up, come on.”  
Castiel opened his eyes and groaned. Fuck, his head hurt. He lifted his arms to assess the damage to his hands, but they looked fine. Before he could sit up, he was lifted by Dean, who moved him to rest into his lap.

“I thought we’d lost you, buddy. Glad to see those baby blues,” he said, relief palpable in his voice and tone. Castiel smiled. He took the hand that rested on his chest and kissed it. Dean’s eyes softened for a moment before he pulled his hand back and helped him sit up straight.

“Jack? Where is he?”

“He’s with Sam in the library,” he chuckled darkly, “they seemed afraid of me… I tend to...” his voice trailed, and Castiel couldn’t pinpoint if it was fear or regret that caused it. 

“You don’t deal well with losing me…,”

Dean just shook his head, looking as broken as the first time Castiel had checked in on him. 

What happened next surprised him even more than their earlier kiss had. Dean’s gaze grew impossibly soft and he placed a kiss right under Castiel’s ear before he hugged him close.

“You know that thing you wanted, but couldn’t have?” When Castiel nodded, Dean continued “What would you do if I told you it has been yours all along?”

Castiel held his breath for a fraction of a second, just long enough for Dean to close the gap between them and place the gentlest of kisses on his lips. When Dean broke the kiss, he rested his forehead against Castiel’s and smiled at him. Castiel swallowed and tentatively smiled back, liking the feeling Dean’s gaze gave him. This was the first time he’d ever been on the receiving end of this heated look, filled with promises of good times to come. He lifted one hand to cup Dean’s cheek and pulled him in for another kiss. 

“Let’s take this elsewhere,” he breathed, barely hanging on to his self control, but Dean shook his head and groaned.

“We can’t, not yet. Sammy and Jack are waiting for us to come back.”

The atmosphere in the library was tense, but Castiel could see Jack visibly relax when they entered the room. He walked over to him and enveloped the kid in a hug. Sam sighed in relief, somehow simultaneously glaring at his brother and smiling in Castiel’s direction. 

“So Jack told me Eileen is in heaven. Her place wasn’t in hell, but because of the nature of the spell, he could not bring her back. She,” Sam hesitated and glared at Jack, “she doesn’t belong.”

“Jack…,” Castiel started, but Dean cut him off with a gruff “Shut up! Eileen belongs here, she belongs with her family. She got a second chance at life, but so did we all. So just… bring her back.”

Noticing that Dean hadn’t repeated his offer, that he didn’t want to give his life for hers, Castiel felt strengthened in his resolve.

“Guys, I can’t! I can’t bend the laws of the universe every time because we’ve lost someone!” Jack exploded, his eyes glowing a dangerous gold, but he managed to get himself under control, “I came here to tell you I’m not going to watch you guys anymore. There will be no more higher power to intervene when things go wrong. You got this life, that’s it. Castiel and I, we finished rebuilding heaven. All souls are at rest and happy. What do you want more? You wanted Chuck gone, you have true free will. Isn’t that enough?”

Dean looked properly chastised and sunk back in his chair. There was some defiance left in Sam, but he deflated quickly as they let the magnitude of Jack’s words sink in. Castiel wasn’t happy with Jack’s reaction, but could see things from his point of view, even though he had rebelled and abused his powers to save Dean Winchester from certain death, time and time again, and he knew he’d do the same in a heartbeat. He couldn’t begrudge Sam his desire to bring back Eileen, but he also realized things had to change. 

“Jack, I’m… I’m sorry,” Sam started, trying in vain to mask his disappointment behind an attempt to smile, “you’re right. You’ve done enough, we won’t ask for more.”

Castiel looked at Jack, really looked at him. The boy looked lost, completely out of his depth. He tried to do the right thing, but he found himself walking into walls time and time again. Rebuilding heaven hadn’t been easy, they’d had a lot of resistance from the other angels, and from a lot of the souls who had been at peace for a long time, and yet Jack had pushed through, only because he knew Dean would be pleased when he finally arrived. Pleasing his family had been the kid’s first priority, so it wasn’t a surprise he was torn between doing the right thing and making Sam happy. 

“Do you want to stay here for a bit? To get your act back together? Take a little break? We can finish the last of the Harry Potter movies, we were only on number six.”

Castiel and Sam both gaped at Dean, mouths wide open in surprise, but when Castiel shifted his attention to Jack, he knew Dean had found the right thing to say. The boy’s face lit up like a Christmas tree when presented with the opportunity to stay with the family he’d built during his short term on earth. He grinned and walked around the table to pull Dean in a hug. Eileen temporarily forgotten, Sam joined in too and he grabbed Castiel by his sleeves so it ended up a proper group hug.

It was only when they let go that Castiel could relax. His arms and legs felt heavier than ever. Recognizing this feeling as fatigue, he stood up with an apologetic smile and said he needed sleep, as he was now human.

Sam and Jack said their goodnights, but Dean just stood up and came with him. When they got down in the corridor, away from eventual prying eyes, Dean grabbed him by his lapels and pushed him against the wall.

“Two rules, Cas. You can’t go breaking them, not anymore. One, you stop trying to save everyone. You’re human, your body is not indestructible. If Jack wants to explode on us, let him. You can’t stop it, and… I can’t lose you, not again. This ends here,” Dean said before leaning in for another kiss, “and two… please don’t go away again.”  
Castiel didn’t think rule two was a rule as such, but Dean allowing himself to ask for something for himself was a big thing. He knew better than to argue with that. Looking straight into Dean’s eyes he nodded solemnly. Heat rose up in his stomach as his lips caught Dean’s in a blistering kiss. If he’d ever wondered which room he was going to stay in today, he now knew for sure it would be Dean's.

A few hours later, they were both sated and relaxed. They were tangled together on top of the covers, enjoying the cool air caressing their bare bodies. Castiel lay on his back, caressing the Dean’s neck, softly scratching that sweet spot where his hair fell over his skin. He was on the verge of falling asleep when he heard Dean whisper something, before burying his face in his neck.

“I love you.”

With a tender chuckle, he looked down and pressed a kiss to the top of Dean’s head. With one hand, he grabbed the duvet and pulled it over their rapidly cooling bodies.

“I love you too,” he replied, just as quiet and tender as Dean’s words had been. He could feel the answering sigh, and Dean scooted just a little closer before they both fell asleep, tangled in the sheets and holding each other close.

Four months later, Jack still lived with them full time, dividing his time between movie marathons and trying to figure out a way to get Rowena to help him out on something he didn’t want to disclose for the time being. He seemed less overwhelmed by his task up in heaven now he could get advice from people he trusted. He went off to heaven once in a while, and planned to move there for good, but it wasn’t time yet. 

Castiel had moved into Dean’s room. The two of them often didn’t bother to come out all day long, except to grab some food from the kitchen only to disappear again with a smug grin on their faces. Neither man had ever looked happier. Their lingering glances regularly brought Sam to despair, causing him to yell at them to get to their room. Every time this happened Jack usually looked on with a fond smile that turned into horror when he realized neither of them cared to keep the noise down. 

Sam had found a way to contact Eileen in the afterlife, but when she realized he wasn’t moving on, she’d kicked his ass so thoroughly the poor guy no longer knew which way was up. In the end he gave up and decided to focus on helping out the few hunters that were left. He kept the library up to date and made sure everyone who needed it had access to the Men Of Letters’ archive. Miracle slept with him most nights, both as a cure for loneliness and as a refugee from Dean and Castiel’s endless lovemaking sessions.

Life was good, Sam mused after he got off the phone with Donna. Another hunter family barbecue was coming up and for once, they weren’t in charge of it. All they had to do was show up at Jody’s by nightfall. Grinning widely, he got up and padded down the corridor to Dean’s room. He ignored the noises coming from inside and banged on the door. 

“Rise and shine, lovebirds! We got a barbecue to go to!”

A deep groan could be heard from the other side of the door, followed by a naked Dean sticking his head out.

“Give us a few more minutes. We’ll be on time. Bitch.”

Dean slammed the door in Sam’s face, leaving Sam standing in the corridor, with only Miracle’s confused look as company.

“Jerk.”


End file.
